WWE Evolution

[CYF]

Honestly that was the most fun I have had at a PPV all year

[sek69]

It's amazing how much better a show can be when it's not forced to be a 4+hour slog. 

[WingedEagle]

8 minutes ago, sek69 said:

It's amazing how much better a show can be when it's not forced to be a 4+hour slog. 

This.  It wasn't that long ago PPVs were 3 hours, yet even now nearly 3.5 feels like a breeze.  No match outside of Charlotte/Becky went very long, and that one worked precisely because it was unique both for how long it went and for the style being so different from every other match.  

[CYF]

Champion of women betterment Michael Cole 

 

[SirEdger]

Overall, a pretty fun PPV. Just loved the vibe around it, simply with how it looked aesthically. Charlotte/Becky easily got the best match of the night, great match.

[Kadaveri]

No one on PWO has pointed out that Bayley & Sasha did the 6/9/95 Kobashi/Misawa spot? Shame.

Great show.

[El-P]

Becky vs Charlotte was quite terrific, although there was a bit too much cutesy typical WWE stuff to call it totally great. Not to mention the godawful referee job which basically negates the ending, as Charlotte was on her knees again yet got counted down, while she was counted up *twice* at the most dramatic moments early on. Piss poor instinct here. That being said, as a garbage match fan, I enjoyed it a whole lot. Respect to the girls, they really deserve some rest after that beating. That Becky heel turn sure worked wonder though... Got a kick out of her being booed only when she shoved the self-standing ladder dow.

Nikki vs Ronda was decent but there's no way it could follow the previous match. 

The PR Curtain Call at the end revealed exactly what this show was all about. And Stephy got to show her face again. Of course.

Well, not a bad way to go, especially with the Charlotte vs Becky match. Good for the girls. And at least, they won't have to go do that godawful job next Friday (because of cultural differences and all).

[FMKK]

I enjoyed the more low-fi aesthetic of this show than the super OTT overproduced WWE shows we're used to. Not too much going on with the ramp, normal ring posts instead of the LED pylons and old school barricades were a nice change of pace. I didn't mind the dimmed crowd lighting either. The whole thing just seemed more fresh, which is something they should learn. When all the other shows look homogenised af, little changes like that can make a big difference to the presentation.

[Downend2005]

Much like the women’s Royal Rumble match, I thought this show was actually overrated. 

The video vignettes throughout the show became increasingly insufferable. WWE has a horrible tendency to lay it on really thick. Show, don’t tell. The curtain call was especially ridiculous, and an excuse just to get Stephanie McMahon onscreen. I did enjoy Ronda and Becky clinking title belts in slow mo too. But WWE show how tone deaf they are by airing a crown jewel promo before the main event.

There weren’t any poor matches per se (although the tag opener wasn’t far off), but for what was supposed to be a monumental, trailblazing, groundbreaking (insert superlative here) show, it felt very much like a house show and a wasted opportunity. The stripped back aesthetic probably added to that feel. Nothing of any consequence really happened, it felt complacent, it felt safe.

There were a lot of noticeable flubs which I’m sure will make it into the next edition of botchamania. Mike Chioda entered an all time terrible refereeing performance in the Last Woman Standing match. WWE editing boos for Becky into the video package before the LWS was just lame. The crowd actually cheering for Becky and booing Charlotte despite that was great though. The match itself was excellent, but WWE insisting on portraying Becky as the heel when the crowd is flat out rejecting it at every turn is increasingly frustrating. Becky is an absolute star, and was the best performer on the show. 

Nikki Bella vs Ronda Rousey should have gone about 2 minutes tops. 

[El Boricua]

I missed most of the show last night (but am planning  on watching what I missed). I did watch the two title matches live.

The LWS was very good, but I can't call it great. It's basically Flair vs. Race at Starrcade 83. The refereeing (especially the counts in the last third) and the plunder setup killing some of the flow stop it from being great to me. But it was very good and so happy to see Becky win.

Rousey vs. Nikki was good, liked Ronda toying with Nikki at the beginning and Nikki needing three ring post shots on Ronda in order to take control. If the rest of the show was as fun and entertaining as these two matches I can see why it's getting such good buzz.

And please stop with the curtain calls. 

[Tenese Sarwieh]

Storm/Shirai and Baszler/Sane delivered, also the main event was hell of fun. Really enjoyed the show.

[Mad Dog]

Not a comment on the show but I am tired of how much dead space these shows have with the video packages and shit. They really lay it on too heavy with the video packages instead of just having the announcers tell you what's going on. It's like they don't trust their audience. 

It's amazing if you go back to an old PPV with how you just blow through those 3 hours because you don't have the long fucking video packages between every match that has to recap every second of the feud.

[El-P]

10 minutes ago, Mad Dog said:

Not a comment on the show but I am tired of how much dead space these shows have with the video packages and shit. They really lay it on too heavy with the video packages instead of just having the announcers tell you what's going on.

Agreed. Worst of it when they play it *after* one participant/team has already entered the ring, having them wait like idiots. Totally kills the pace of the intros.

[Mad Dog]

2 minutes ago, El-P said:

Agreed. Worst of it when they play it *after* one participant/team has already entered the ring, having them wait like idiots. Totally kills the pace of the intros.

It was ridiculous during the MYC. You would have 5 minutes of video for a 3 minute match.

[Robert S]

I somehow managed to get through the first two matches, I am not sure if I can motivate myself to watch the rest. Something like 30 of that 50 minutes were video packages about how they revolutionized women's wrestling (albeit stating that they continue what was started by Mae Young / "Alundra Blayze" / Trish Stratus etc.). I mean I FF through that shit, but still. The wrestling itself is (so far) also not very good. Though kudos to Mickey James for her performance in the opener, she was working for three women at least (the less said about Lita the better).

[Mad Dog]

5 minutes ago, Robert S said:

I somehow managed to get through the first two matches, I am not sure if I can motivate myself to watch the rest. Something like 30 of that 50 minutes were video packages about how they revolutionized women's wrestling (albeit stating that they continue what was started by Mae Young / "Alundra Blayze" / Trish Stratus etc.). I mean I FF through that shit, but still. The wrestling itself is (so far) also not very good. Though kudos to Mickey James for her performance in the opener, she was working for three women at least (the less said about Lita the better).

Just fast forward to the next match and you can blow through the rest of it in an hour.

[Robert S]

That many video packages coming after the battle royal?

[Mad Dog]

Just fastfoward about 5-8 minutes and you'll hit the next match. The back patting goes on all night.

[FMKK]

It's amazing how they can do all these videos talking about women not getting chances in the past without ever addressing why, right?

[donsem43]

Wow, they threw up Ronda/Nikki up on YouTube:

[Jimmy Redman]

So this was absolutely a thing that happened.

I already have a written review up HERE and a podcast review with Steven/Grimmas up HERE (let's hope I remember how links work again before I finish this) and I've just watched this show for the THIRD TIME and to be honest I haven't slept a whole lot since God knows when and I was so excited yesterday I legit forgot to eat so I am more delirious than ever now positively flying amongst the waves and so yeah boys we all know what that means!

THE JIMMY REDMAN INSANE DRUG ADDLED SLEEP DEPRIVED RAMBLING STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS POST ABOUT WOMEN'S WRESTLING. (TM)

This is way more women's content than I've ever had to ramble about before, so my apologies if I use too many words and like crash the board beyond repair.

Spoiler

I said this already but how the fuck can you be cynical about this when all these birds are crying uncontrollably about being a part of it? I'm here for the women. This is like Christmas, but like if Christmas only came once in your entire life.

OK DOUBLE DOUBLE EE LIKE I WASN'T AROUSED ENOUGH ALREADY BY THIS WHOLE THING. You send out the chicks in leathers banging on guitars. Have mercy. I gotta see Halestrom at Download. This show already has a comforting NXT vibe to it.

Woke Feminist Cole is far and away my favourite ever Cole. I just feel bad that his girlfriend Meiko isn't wrestling. Soz dude. Beth showing off her BULL NAKANO shirt and trying not to cry have already set me off in record time. I wish all the success, happiness and spiritual fulfilment in the world for Renee Young. She is a darling. Watching Cathy Kelley direct those Roundtables gave me a whole new appreciation for Cathy Kelley too.

LILIAN GARCIA!~ SPEAKING OF DARLINGS THAT I WISH THE WORLD UPON. I've never seen anyone happier to do anything in my whole life than Lilian Garcia announcing Trish Stratus matches.

HANG ON TRISH STRATUS MATCHES??? NOW? FIRST? YOU SIT ME DOWN HERE AND YOU JUST STRAIGHT UP THROW TRISH RIGHT IN MY FACE? NO LUBE OR FOREPLAY OR NOTHING??? Christ WWE. Give me a little romance.  

I super lied. I've never seen anyone happier to do anything in my whole life than me watching Trish Stratus matches. My darling wife, my sun and stars, moon of my life, the greatest of all the God damn time. Also this woman is STILL a 41 year old mother of two and still looks like fucking that in a see through outfit. Have mercy.

SO FUCK YOUR RULES MAN! Remains a banger. Not to be outdone Lita comes banging out in a matching see through outfit. These guys look so happy to be teaming together. Lilian looks so happy to be shooed away by Trish. My God, Lilian is more in love with her than I am. That poor woman.

Alexa's delivery remains note perfect. What a promo. Also the three dress up outfits on the heels are baller also WHAT THE FUCK IS ALICIA FOX'S HAT MY GOD I LOVE THIS WOMAN SHE IS MY FAVOURITE EVER INSANE PERSON. DAMN RIGHT SHE'S THE LONGEST TENURED WOMAN IN THE COMPANY. ALICIA FOX IS A SURVIVOR. SHE OUTLASTED YOUR ASS.

I'm yelling again aren't I.

God Bless that Mickie James the 2018 model is one that wears short shorts. I love everyone in this match. MY GOD I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE. THIS THING IS HOT. THERE ARE LITA CHANTS. YEAH BABY I LOVE THIS CROWD.

Did you hear the pop when Trish came out? When everyone came out? It was HIGHER. Not higher the way I am high on this PPV, but higher in pitch. There are SO MANY WOMEN AND GIRLS HERE. That simple fact in and of itself has wrecked me now that I think about it. This is incredible. This is the most female crowd that has EVER been at a WWE show.

POETRY IN MOTION! YASS GAGA. OMG CRAZY FOX IS IN WITH TRISH! YASSSSSSSSSSS GAGAAAAAAAAA. I needed this in my life.

SheOMG SHE'S POINTING AT MICKIE! MICKIE WANT NONE! PEOPLE ARE GOING NUTS. I'M GOING NUTS. ITS THE ROYAL RUMBLE OF MY DREAMS AGAIN. AND THEY'RE PUNCHING ON!!!! THIS IS THE 2006 OF MY DREAMS AGAIN!

Oh God Mickie kicked her head off. I think it's physiologically impossible for Trish to have a match without at least one death bump. Ah caught her she's going up top they're going to do the big tumble! OH WAIT JESUS NO SHE'S GOING TO DO A SUPER FUCKING FRANKENSTEINER OFF THE TOP FOR THE ABSOLUTE SPITTING FUCK OF IT! TRISH MOTHERFUCKING STRATUS MOTHERFUCKERS!

Trish and Lita teasing the idea of them doing fucking topes in the Year of Our Lord 2018 is some carny ass shit, well done. Although Trish is so mentally suicidal that I have no trouble buying into her wanting to do a 41 Yr Old Mother of Two Tope. My GOD this crowd is loud. Also commentary is so fucking good.

Enjoyed the tag team rana. I never mention Lita much but she's been very good here.

TRISH HOT TAG WITH THE FLYING MARES! AND THE SIT OUT POWERBOMB! WHAT IN THE UTTER FUCK. TRISH HAS NEVER DONE A FLYING MARE BEFORE IN HER LIFE. SHE IS A 41 YEAR OLD MOTHER OF TWO WHO'S BEEN RETIRED FOR 12 YEARS AND SHE'S STILL ADDING MOVES TO HER REPERTOIRE. HOW. WHY. WHAT EVEN IS THIS WOMAN.

My word she just licked her hand and chopped her right in the tit! I think I'm having one of those dreams again.

Trish and Mickie doing the kick-knee move from WM22 popped me big. These guys are RIDICULOUS together. I'm still so fucking mad that they had 15 mins for Backlash 2006 and Trish got injured. Also Mickie deserves a fruit basket, she's been working for like 100 woman here. Wow that late run in was hilarious, both for Mickie's panicked "FOXY?!" after the 2 count, AND for her being a carny and letting Foxy be late rather than kick out of the Stratusfaction which has never been kicked out of. Kayfabe brother. That may be the safest looking moonsault Lita has ever thrown in her life. Mickie doing the bitchin' standing KO sell for the Kick slayed me. I love Mickie so much. She literally held Trish's and Lita's hand and walked them through this whole match like an absolute trooper. All the fruit baskets please. I loved this whole thing so much. I'm already not super coping with how much my heart is swelling at all of this. I may need a doctor.

THE BATTLE ROYAL? OK I definitely need a doctor. NAOMI DID THE MELINA ENTRANCE! SHOUTOUT TO MY NEW BFF MELINA WHOM I JUST MET AGAIN AT AN INDY SHOW IN FUCKING MARAYONG, AUSTRALIA IN A HALL WITH 180 PEOPLE. That was sweet. MICHELLE! MY DARLING! Is there a woman left who DIDN'T win a title in the Nassau Coliseum? I love you Sonya you big gaybo. DUCE! THE BIG DUCE IS IN! Beth marking out about Alundra was the best. Zelina and Kacy have to wrestle in the future in like the opposite of a hoss battle.

HOLLA HOLLA! AND ALL THE GIRLS IN THE CLUB SAY OOOOH! The unfairly maligned Kelly getting love gives me life. EMBER SPARKS THE FIRE! EMBER FANS THE FLAMES! Maria! I forgot she was in this. No offense to the Kanellis' theme but it's no Zebrahead! HER LEGS GO ON AND ON FOR DAAAAAAAYS! Mandy honey until you stop playing with poor Sonya's heart the way you do you have nothing to offer me. Lesbian solidarity.

MOLLYYYYYYY HOLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~!!!! ST MOLLY OF MINNESOTA! Her little Mighty Molly smile is the cutest thing in the entire world. Nia still really over. So is Asuka. I AM THE FUTURE! They could rehab Asuka in like 5 seconds flat if they wanted to. WHY DON'T THEY WANT TO. Aww Miz is there for his girl, so cute. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN EVERYONE WANTS YOU! TORRIE WILSONNNNNNN!!! Don't worry honey I'm on a mission for you. It super cracks me the fuck up that Torrie Wilson was the highest billed Legend.

The Iconics just get it. I like how they're on a cultural exchange mission to show the world just how fucking annoying bogans are. We been known. That was a fun opening, that and the oldies getting surrounded and BIG DUCE going all "Fuck it dudes let's start scrapping!"

The first thing I noticed about this match was that when the brawl began MOLLY HOLLY MADE A BEELINE FOR ASUKA AND MOLLY HOLLY AND ASUKA PHYSICALLY TOUCHED EACH OTHER IN A WRESTLING MATCH IN 2018 WHAT TRULY IS LIFE. I am never again going to know peaceful sleep the rest of my life because now I know that is something that could have potentially, possibly happened in one of the many universes we are currently experiencing on a cosmic level and yet it does not exist in this one and life is just that tiny bit duller and greyer now that I am acutely aware of that fact.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? NOT MOLLY!!!!

NOT KELLY TOO!!! GOD DAMN IT SONYA I PUT YOU OVER TO MY MOTHER AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO TO ME. STOP THROWING MY PEOPLE OUT.

OK THAT IS FUCKING IT NOT TORRIE! OH MY GOD THIS IS THE ROYAL RUMBLE OF MY DREAMS ALL OVER AGAIN. I HATE YOU SONYA YOU STUPID GAY ASSHOLE YOU TOO MANDY TO THINK THAT I SHIP YOU GUYS SO MUCH AND WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER NO YOU CAN ROT IN HELL LOSERS YOU WILL NEVER KNOW TRUE LOVE.

OK but Mandy double crossing Sonya ruled. Mainly for Sonya selling it. Sonya is so OTT and such a fucking goofball in real life that the minute she stops being her inner Ronda and starts embracing her inner Victoria and becomes a buffoon is the minute she is going to become fucking awesome. Just you wait.

Also every one of my girls took a stupid ass fucking bump to their deaths here. VIVA LA DIVAS INVASION!

Speaking of, somewhere in here Michelle McCool hooked up with Naomi and I was instantly transported back to 2010 when they had Laycool work a match on NXT Season 3 and Naomi was on the other side and 5 seconds of Michelle vs. Naomi work made me want about 387 million Michelle vs. Naomi matches so getting this little taste here was again ultimately quite the titillating tease and I'm going to lose even more sleep at night thinking about the 387 million Michelle vs. Naomi matches that exist in all the alternate universes also once again they're doing that thing where they're booking things solely to watch me pop. Thanks Papa Hunter. Thanks Sara Del Rey.

MARIA KANELLIS GAVE BIRTH LIKE 5 MINUTES AGO AND SHE LOOKS FANTASTIC LOOK AT HER GO. Having her baby at ringside was the cutest fucking thing. Well, maybe the second cutest fucking thing since the first was Renee indignantly going "Rude!" when she saw Maria get tossed in front of her own baby. I super love Renee so much.

GUYS TAMINA SNUKA IS A FUCKING 40 YEAR OLD MOTHER OF TWO WHO JUST SPENT NINE MONTHS OF HER LIFE COMING BACK FROM SURGERY AND SHE IS FUCKING SHOWING OUT IN THIS  SUMBITCH WHY DOES THIS NOT GET TALKED ABOUT MORE.

OH MY FUCK NIA JAX AND TAMINA HAD A FUCKING SAMOAN FAMILY HOSS OFF AND THEN THEY DID THE ROMAN REIGNS "OOOOOAAAAAHHHHHHH!" ROAR AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE DUDES IM LOSING IT HERE.

QUADRUPLE SUPLEX CITY MOFUCKERS. DANCE BREAK! Yes! Ivory is into it! I love bullshit like this in matches. And I LOOOOOOOOOVED Mandy continuing the Absolution vs. Legends theme only to get BESTED and eliminated by Ivory! Pro wrestling! Ivory has been, like, honestly she may never have looked this good in her entire career.

Dana got like 10 seconds of shine here before her premature death and she looked really good. Oh well, RIP. MICHELLE! My love! Teasing the Styles Clash just to pop me and then BOOTING EMBER OUT OF THE CLEAR BLUE FUCKING SKY. YES. MICHELLE MCCOOL LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME. I SAY THAT EVERY TIME BUT SHE LEGITIMATELY HAS NOT AGED A DAY SINCE 2011. 7 YEARS. SHE LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE SHE COULD WALTZ BACK IN TOMORROW. ALSO GIVE ME ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THE MICHELLE VS. EMBER MATCHES PLEASE AND FUCK.

Asuka selling for Ivory is the most fucked up thing I may have possibly ever seen in my entire life.

But in all seriousness Ivory did amazing. If you had told me on paper that IVORY of all people got to go the longest I would have punched you in the face but here we are it happened and she actually ruled. I can't believe I'm even saying that. Life is getting existentially surreal at this point.

EMBER AND ASUKA! EMBER AND ASUKA! The people popping for this made me so happy. They remember. And Ember remembers - her tossing Asuka out of this battle royal is the only significant victory Ember has ever got over Asuka and that's why she let out that ALMIGHTY ROAR when she did it. They're going to main event a PPV one day.

And now suddenly at the end of this match Ember is the underdog babyface of all our dreams. I had already said to my mother that I wanted Ember to win so we get Ember vs. Ronda. This was a great stretch with her suddenly fighting for her life vs. two giants. Her whole deal with Nia ruled. Are there people who still don't "get" Ember? Get fucked, if so.

ZELINA VEGA! That was hilarious. My word. Perfect spot for her. And HOLY SHIT WHEN SHE GOT TOSSED SHE KICKED TAMINA RIGHT IN THE FUCKING NOSE. EMBER AND NIA!!!! GIVE THIS MATCH TO ME A HUNDRED BILLION TIMES. Nia winning was cool because she was super over in this building and she seemed to super love it. Loved that it took her 3 seconds to pivot from bawling to cutting a promo on the title match. Bless. Ronda vs. Nia I was the best thing in the world so I am super, super fine with this direction.

AND NOW THE MAE YOUNG FUCKING CLASSIC FINAL. THIS PPV DOESN'T STOP AND IT'S REALLY SUPER BAD FOR MY HEALTH. MY POOR HEART.

It's fascinating to me that Toni's outward persona that they keep pushing is "outgoing cocky rockstar" when in fact Toni has morphed into or possibly just revealed herself to be an incredibly sweet, relatable underdog babyface. Before the tourney started I assumed Io Shirai would be the star and easy pick to win and by the end of it Meiko was the star and watching Toni say "She's not gonna beat me." I 100% believed it in my soul, even if I still assumed in my head that Io would win. I am so fucking pumped for THOHMYGODMEIKOISHERE! I REPEAT MEIKO IS HERE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! SOMEONE CHECK ON MICHAEL COLE! WELL FUCK ME DEAD WHY DIDN'T SHE JUMP THE FENCE AND ENTER THE BATTLE ROYAL AND KILL EVERYONE IN IT???

Also shoutout to my girl there Rhea Ripley. Check out the MYC if you haven't yet (and the Stacey and Steven Podcasts!) to see why she's now my new favourite wrestler. My girl.

Toni looks overwhelmed, in the best possible way. Or maybe I'm just projecting because she's an Australian woman so my feeling of living vicariously through her is much more acute than for any other wrestlers who aren't women from Australia. This is gonna fucking bang.

Mum update: she's heard me bang on about the MYC but hasn't seen any of it. She's going for Aussie Toni because she's Australian. I'm sorry mum, pretty sure you're going to be disappointed very soon.

Toni effing DRILLED her with that German. No, not THAT German, an earlier one in the ring. Toni also has the craziest Umaga butt bump since Umaga. RUNNING SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR! ARGH. GERMAN SUPLEX FROM HELL ON THE APRON! DOUBLE ARGH. They're dropping some napalm up in here. The strike exchange that ended in the lariat from hell and Storm Zero kickout ruled. Io's 619 and SPRINGBOARD SUNSET FLIP FROM THE SKY ruled too. SHE GOT THE KNEES UP! SHE GOT HER WHOLE FUCKING LEGS UP! STORM ZERO! HOLY SHIT SHE'S GOING TO WIN! SHE WON! AHHHHHHHHHH! OHMYGOD I WAS SUPER NOT EXPECTING THIS! AUSSIE TONI THE AUSTRALIAN WRESTLER!

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT RHEA RIPLEY WITH THE SARCASTIC SLOW CLAP AT RINGSIDE. OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE THIS WOMAN SHE IS THE FUCKING GUY SHE IS MY FAVE EVERYONE GET ON BOARD THE RHEA RIPLEY TRAIN NOW MY GIRL IS GOING TO BLOW THE FUCK UP SHE'S GOT IT DUDES SHE'S GOING TO CONQUER THE WORLD.

PAPA HAITCH! MAMA STEPH! SARA DEL REY! FLOWERS! HUGS! TONI IS CRYING. I'M CRYING. YOU'RE CRYING. Toni out loud going, "GUYS WHAT IS MY LIFE" is a legit fucking mood right now.

Wait. What. EVE TORRES IS IN THE BUILDING?? WHY DIDN'T SHE RUN INTO THE BATTLE ROYAL! SHE LOOKS EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME I CANNOT I JUST CANNOT EVEN.

OK so I had just barely recovered from all this, well not really, and anyway Sasha fucking Banks comes out and is trying so visibly hard not to burst into tears that I for real just can't take it anymore. Take me now God. Life will never feel like this again. Oh God Finn is here for Bayley. I GET SHIPS ON THIS SHOW TOO??? STOP IT. IT'S TOO MUCH. I CAN'T BREATHE.

The Riott Squad look fucking baller. How good are they going. It's also nice how the commentators now put over women getting wrestling milestone-related tattoos instead of burying them.

Liv Morgan dropping down to stare at Nattie was awesome. Nattie is the best house show wrestler ever, she loves that shit. Liv Morgan has improved out of sight and really the entire Riott Squad are on a tremendous roll. Super loved Bayley doing the baseball slide in the corner, only to try it again and get fucking posted.

Have I mentioned how good this commentary is. I refuse to accept anyone other than Renee and Beth ever again.

OH MY FUCKING JESUS FUCK. SASHA IS DEAD. AGAIN. GOOD LORD. I like the idea that Sasha undershooting allowed the heels to catch her and kill her instead of eating the dive. Brutal fucking Doomsday Device too. And a nice Hart Attack earlier.

OMGGGG I WAS SO WORRIED AFTER THE ACCIDENTAL CONTACT THAT THEY'D BREAK UP BUT NO BAYLEY IS THE BESTEST BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD SHE LAID ON SASHA TO SACRIFICE HERSELF TO SAVE HER LIFE BAYLEY IS ON SOME 6/9/95 KOBASHI SHIT RIGHT NOW GET IN ME.

DOUBLE SHARPSHOOTER!

What a banging finishing stretch. Powerbomb! Elbow! Dive! Frogsplash! Peace on earth, joy to the world. Everyone rules. Nattie looked like a supes awks third wheel intruding on Sasha and Bayley's moment after. Get a room.

I HAD JUST BARELY GOT SOMEWHERE REMOTELY RESEMBLING FINE AND THEN ALICIA FOX IS BAWLING ABOUT THIS BEING THE BIGGEST MATCH OF HER CAREER CAN YOU PLEASE FUCKING STOP.

AND NOW THE NXT FUCKING TITLE MATCH IT JUST KEEPS GOING AND GOING IT CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP AND I'M LOSING ALL OF MY MIND HERE. I AM SO PSYCHED FOR THIS.

Mum update: "So, who are these people?"

For the official record, posting on the PWO board, your honour, I am completely in love with Shayna Baszler. Shayna strutting around in leather jackets and sunnies and murdering people for sheer sport with a smirk is my perpetual big gay mood and I love her. What a woman. I lied earlier Shayna is for sure my favourite wrestler.

And yet she can go to absolute hell because NXT is still real to me damn it and Kairi the Pirate rules and she MUST WIN THIS. OH MY GOD A NEW SONG. HOW DOES SHE HAVE A NEW PIRATE SONG AND I'M NOT EVEN MAD ABOUT HER LOSING HER ALREADY AWESOME FIRST PIRATE SONG. Kairi the Pirate IS pro wrestling.

AHHHHHHHHH!!! HER ARM! HER FUCKING ARM! SHAYNA IS THE FUCKING BUSINESS YO. Are there still people around who can't get around Shayna? Do they still exist? If so, get fucked. This was awesome and brutal and disgusting and brilliant arm work. My Good God. That stomp. The twisting. The bending. This was fucked up man.

Mum update: "Ahhhhh!" (At the arm work. She's sold.)

Kairi sold like a million fucking bucks too. Fantastic one armed comeback. Loved that BIG dive to the floor and then OH SHIT THE HORSEWOMEN DORKS! SHIT SHIT SHIT. NO! FUCK OFF! YES FIGHT THEM OFF KAIRI! BOOM SPINNING BACKFIST! EAT SOME AJA KONG BITCHES! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! FIGHT IT! FIGHT IT KAIRI! YES! NO! NO. ARGH. I FUCKING HATE THIS. I MEAN I LOVE IT. BUT I HATE IT. FUCKING DORKS. BOO!

Mum update: "Well that sucks! Bullshit! I'm never watching wrestling again!" (It's still real to us damn it.)

Kairi waking up and finding out she lost - nope. Big nope. I can't stand this. But please have a million more matches. Also I hated this result because kayfabe brother but I absolutely love the shit out of Shayna and I'm therefore also stoked and I spent the evening driving around blasting her theme song and air guitaring and yelling "Dada da dada da DAH DAH - dada da dada DRRR!" out of the window like a fucking lunatic.

AND AFTER ALL OF THAT HEART STOPPING NONSENSE WE GET WARRRRR BECKY MOTHERFUCKING LYNCH.

Nope.

Can't do it. Too much. Send help. Call 000.

Becky in the video package going, "Oi luuuuv moiself" with that smirk before setting Edge on fire was fucking amazing. Watch any of the media or videos Becky has been doing over the weekend - everything that comes out of her mouth is magic and she is living and breathing this character like nobody has ever fucking lived or breathed before. I lied again just now because imagine me even pretending like my favourite wrestler in the world isn't Becky fucking Lynch. I honestly can't remember the last time I was this in love with a wrestler. It's been years and years and years. I am done. I am gone. I am head over heels with this woman.

Becky has now taken to calling herself The Man and this sets my soul ablaze with delight for a million reasons, the main two being: a. I am the #1 purveyor of gender-flipping phrases and idioms of the English language, and b. We're basically one step away from Becky telling us to call her Daddy and I'm not sure wrestling Twitter could survive such a thing and frankly my big gay heart 100% would not survive such a thing so please you may not care about Wrestling Twitter but won't somebody think of my health. This show is taking years off my life and also at the same time adding years to my life it's a weird feeling. Hopefully I at least break even by the end of it.

I'll give this to Charlotte, she knows how to rock a PPV Outfit. And to be fair to Flair LOLOLOL but seriously, sure I may carpet bomb Stamford, CT if she wins this match and I'm TERRIFIED that she might win this match but she also delivers in EVERY big match she is ever put in without fail she is Big Match Char so my body is ready let's get it on.

GET A LOAD OF BECKY. GET AN ABSOLUTE LOAD OF HER. SWEET BABY JESUS.

WOAAAAAAAHHHHHOHHHHHOHHHHOHHHHOHHHHHOHHHH!

When Charlotte does that arm stretch thing during the intros she looks so much like Ric it's scary.

OH MY MOTHER EFFING JESUS CHRISTING GOD. THEY ARE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER LIKE THEY'RE GOING TO MURDER EACH OTHER AND HAVE ALREADY THOUGHT OF 18 DIFFERENT WAYS TO HIDE THE BODY. SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE TODAY. THIS IS MURDEROUS. I AM GIDDY.

A Running List of All The Ways Becky Lynch Channelled The Rock on This Show:
1. Mocking the Flair strut before the elbow drop.
2. Protecting her head for the backdrop driver from hell onto the chairs.
3. Hitting a Rock Bottom onto the chairs.
4. Being the most insanely charismatic and transcendentally arresting person on the entire roster and possibly the entire world to the point where it's almost unfair on the rest of the roster and possibly the rest of the world. Nobody should be allowed to be on this level. It's rude.

I like how wrestling logic is like "You know what, Becky hasn't been mean enough lately, let's give her some DEADLY WEAPONS!" I'm terrified.

OMG THE CAMERA MISSED IT BUT BECKY THROWING THE STICK BEHIND HER AND BETH CATCHING IT LIKE A NINJA SOUNDS LIKE THE BEST THING EVER. SHADES OF TERRY FUNK CATCHING THE CHAIR TOSSED BY STAN HANSEN!

HOLY SHIT THE CHAIR TOSS WAS SO GOOD. SHADES OF ECW. I also looooooooooved how they made it into a pissing contest between them to see who could throw the most chairs and neither wanted to blink so they just ended up in this dumbfuck chair tossing contest because they don't want to lose to the other at ANYTHING. And this was the most logical way to get to "Hey let's put 17 chairs in the ring to bump on" I've ever seen.

AND THEN BECKY FAKED MOVING ON TO A TABLE SETTING UP CONTEST BUT WHEN CHARLOTTE GRABBED A TABLE BECKY FLEW IN AND NAILED HER SHE IS AN EVIL GENIUS I LOVE HER.

AHHHHHH BACKDROP DRIVAH FROM HELL ONTO CHAIRS!!! ROCK BOTTOM FROM HELL ONTO CHAIRS!!! Full credit to Charlotte she is always willing to eat some absolute shit in matches.

THE MOONSAULT DIDN'T WORK FKN LOOOOOLOLOLOLOL. SHADES OF LAYCOOL! Women and tables are cursed. But I love how in context what could have been a goofy "let's try the same spot again" moment actually came off like "Get fucked, I HAVE TO put this asshole through this table and kill her, she's not getting out of this hurtin', let me find another way" and BOOM SENTON.

THE LADDER MAGICALLY STANDING UP was amazing and Becky knocking it over was the worst thing she has ever done. The slam on the ladder looked like it SUUUUUCKED so once again, Charlotte can motherfucking eat some shit.

I love them keeping busy while Charlotte figures out how to get the ladder Figure 8 done. And then THE LADDER FIGURE 8! SICKNESS. Referee Mike Chioda obviously boos the Woo because he had to kick the chair to Becky hahahaha.

Becky is so Becky that people can't even care when she tries to walkout. I am going fucking INSANE for this big brawl in the crowd.

I have never seen anyone throw a TV monitor off an announce table that hard before. Charlotte is PISSED. At this point I'm scared she might actually kill this sheila.

Well I was wrong because LEG DROP FROM HELL OFF THE LADDER THROUGH THE FUCKING TABLE!!!!!

Charlotte getting up from that and going "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT??" was some badass fucking shit. AND NOW BECKY IS BURYING HER UNDER A PILE OF SHIT OMG YESSSSSSSSSS DO IT DO IT!

BRAWFGRGHJGHJGHGHJGHNGHNGH! CHARLOTTE BRAUNS UP AND EMERGES LIKE SOME KIND OF FUCKING MYTHICAL CREATURE HOLY SHIIIIIIIIT. CHARLOTTE DEADSET LOOKS LIKE SHE'S WONDERING HOW MANY PIECES SHE CAN CUT BECKY'S BODY INTO BEFORE SHE DIES SHE IS A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH CALL THE FUCKING COPS.

FUCK FUCK FUCK WAIT NO FUCK CHARLOTTE IS GETTING GLORIOUS BABYFACE REVENGE NO DON'T WIN DON'T WIN FUCK OFF OFF. THIS IS TERRIFYING.

YES! YES! GET HER! DO IT! YES! POWERBOMB THROUGH THE FUCKING TABLE! KILL HER! EAT HER! YES YES YES! THANK FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK. BECKY IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD SHE IS THE FUCKING MAN THANK GOD.

That whole ending was TERRIFYING because as soon as Charlotte Charlotte'd Up from the depths of hell it was set up for her to come back and win and I thought Becky was done for so well done of them for working me with that finish. Charlotte wins every big match even when she shouldn't because reasons but NOT TODAY SATAN BECKY IS THE MAN SHE AIN'T FUCKING WITH YOUR BULLSHIT.

ARGH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

The gigantic little girl pop the Bellas got here should give you some indication of why they're in this spot. Fuck with them or not but they're over, God only knows why. Can't fight city hall. Ronda is a superstar, and not to harp on but the insane thing is that right now Becky feels like an even bigger deal than Ronda.

Ronda starting by just completely fucking around is my jam. This was brutal. Taking her down at will AND THEN LITERALLY HELPING HER UP AND TELLING HER TO FIGHT BACK was some boss ass shit.

POSTED! HOW HAS RONDA BEEN WRESTLING FOR 5 MINS AND SHE ALREADY TAKES A BETTER POST BUMP THAN ALL WRESTLERS EVER?? Every Ronda match I freak out all over again just how fucking good she is this quickly. It should not be physically possible for her to be this good.

The thing about her that's so great, and it's the exact same thing that made Brock Lesnar so great (among others) is that she is clearly so far and away more legitimately dangerous than everyone else, she could kill Nikki at will, and yet SHE IS SO FUCKING GREAT AT SELLING that the match goes on and Nikki gets SO MUCH OFFENSE in on Ronda and you never once question it. The way she sells, the way she struggles is just fantastic. How the FUCK is she this good.

I'm not sure off hand what would be the best heel performance of Brie Bella's career because she's always been the lesser heel of the two and has the lesser matches so honestly this may be the best heel performance of Brie Bella's career. She was great on the outside throughout this.

Ronda Rondaing Up is the fucking best shit. She can lead you on with this selling and then the minute the switch flips and she stops fucking around and gets THE LOOK you know people are about to get MURKED. DOUBLE JUDO FLIP THING! THE SLAP RECEIPT! ALABAMA SLAM! RACK ATTACK 2.0 KICKOUT! CRAZY TWISTING ROLLUP OFF THE TOP ROPE! Ronda busts out new shit every time still and it rocks. Ronda wins, peace on earth.

I am fucking exhausted by this once again but honestly I could watch this show a hundred fucking times. This is the biggest feel good show of all time. Everything is nice and lovely and perfect and I love everything.

 

[SomethingSavage]

Overall, this was an easily enjoyable watch. Wayyy more good than bad here. Off the top of my head, it was the best show main roster WWE has put out since at least the Rumble.

There were still aspects I didn't like though. Had nothing to do with the work or the in-ring product, to be fair to the women involved. But the self-congratulatory celebrating was excessive and increasingly obnoxious. It's fair enough that they'd want to grandstand, but turning that into an all-night affair just felt... Gross and off-putting.

And why is Nia Jax's character caught in this constant loop between being Ursula the sea hag & supremely humble, single mom, teary-eyed Tyler Perry character? It's the only two modes they know with her, and there's never any rhyme or reason for the shifts back & forth.

I hate how all the babyfaces have the same gimmick - it's their dream. They're living their dream. They're reaching for their dream. Enough. Fuck me running.

That being said, it allows for girls like Shayna & Becky to feel sooo fucking refreshing. They are wonderful. They are life.

Mickie, Foxy, and the Riott Squad were fantastic as well. And I won't lie. Every match offered something slightly different. Make no mistake. This was a well-structured card with rewarding results & solid action. I dug it.

... Even if the presentation reached really unappealing levels at times. This corporate speak, PR-obsessed. attention-chasing era of WWE is the dirt worst and not for me. I swear to god, at one time someone in one of those video packages literally said, "It's necessary for feminism."

... That's right. This show was necessary for feminism, y'all. Fuck.

Anyway, this was a fun watch. I'm glad we can still get stuff like this & NXT, which will get me through in the meantime.

[sek69]

I love how Shayna can get the crowd to buy in to all her moves. Every match has a spot where it seems like the crowd thought she tore someone's arm off legit.

[WingedEagle]

17 hours ago, Jimmy Redman said:

So this was absolutely a thing that happened.

I already have a written review up HERE and a podcast review with Steven/Grimmas up HERE (let's hope I remember how links work again before I finish this) and I've just watched this show for the THIRD TIME and to be honest I haven't slept a whole lot since God knows when and I was so excited yesterday I legit forgot to eat so I am more delirious than ever now positively flying amongst the waves and so yeah boys we all know what that means!

THE JIMMY REDMAN INSANE DRUG ADDLED SLEEP DEPRIVED RAMBLING STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS POST ABOUT WOMEN'S WRESTLING. (TM)

This is way more women's content than I've ever had to ramble about before, so my apologies if I use too many words and like crash the board beyond repair.

  Reveal hidden contents

I said this already but how the fuck can you be cynical about this when all these birds are crying uncontrollably about being a part of it? I'm here for the women. This is like Christmas, but like if Christmas only came once in your entire life.

OK DOUBLE DOUBLE EE LIKE I WASN'T AROUSED ENOUGH ALREADY BY THIS WHOLE THING. You send out the chicks in leathers banging on guitars. Have mercy. I gotta see Halestrom at Download. This show already has a comforting NXT vibe to it.

Woke Feminist Cole is far and away my favourite ever Cole. I just feel bad that his girlfriend Meiko isn't wrestling. Soz dude. Beth showing off her BULL NAKANO shirt and trying not to cry have already set me off in record time. I wish all the success, happiness and spiritual fulfilment in the world for Renee Young. She is a darling. Watching Cathy Kelley direct those Roundtables gave me a whole new appreciation for Cathy Kelley too.

LILIAN GARCIA!~ SPEAKING OF DARLINGS THAT I WISH THE WORLD UPON. I've never seen anyone happier to do anything in my whole life than Lilian Garcia announcing Trish Stratus matches.

HANG ON TRISH STRATUS MATCHES??? NOW? FIRST? YOU SIT ME DOWN HERE AND YOU JUST STRAIGHT UP THROW TRISH RIGHT IN MY FACE? NO LUBE OR FOREPLAY OR NOTHING??? Christ WWE. Give me a little romance.  

I super lied. I've never seen anyone happier to do anything in my whole life than me watching Trish Stratus matches. My darling wife, my sun and stars, moon of my life, the greatest of all the God damn time. Also this woman is STILL a 41 year old mother of two and still looks like fucking that in a see through outfit. Have mercy.

SO FUCK YOUR RULES MAN! Remains a banger. Not to be outdone Lita comes banging out in a matching see through outfit. These guys look so happy to be teaming together. Lilian looks so happy to be shooed away by Trish. My God, Lilian is more in love with her than I am. That poor woman.

Alexa's delivery remains note perfect. What a promo. Also the three dress up outfits on the heels are baller also WHAT THE FUCK IS ALICIA FOX'S HAT MY GOD I LOVE THIS WOMAN SHE IS MY FAVOURITE EVER INSANE PERSON. DAMN RIGHT SHE'S THE LONGEST TENURED WOMAN IN THE COMPANY. ALICIA FOX IS A SURVIVOR. SHE OUTLASTED YOUR ASS.

I'm yelling again aren't I.

God Bless that Mickie James the 2018 model is one that wears short shorts. I love everyone in this match. MY GOD I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE. THIS THING IS HOT. THERE ARE LITA CHANTS. YEAH BABY I LOVE THIS CROWD.

Did you hear the pop when Trish came out? When everyone came out? It was HIGHER. Not higher the way I am high on this PPV, but higher in pitch. There are SO MANY WOMEN AND GIRLS HERE. That simple fact in and of itself has wrecked me now that I think about it. This is incredible. This is the most female crowd that has EVER been at a WWE show.

POETRY IN MOTION! YASS GAGA. OMG CRAZY FOX IS IN WITH TRISH! YASSSSSSSSSSS GAGAAAAAAAAA. I needed this in my life.

SheOMG SHE'S POINTING AT MICKIE! MICKIE WANT NONE! PEOPLE ARE GOING NUTS. I'M GOING NUTS. ITS THE ROYAL RUMBLE OF MY DREAMS AGAIN. AND THEY'RE PUNCHING ON!!!! THIS IS THE 2006 OF MY DREAMS AGAIN!

Oh God Mickie kicked her head off. I think it's physiologically impossible for Trish to have a match without at least one death bump. Ah caught her she's going up top they're going to do the big tumble! OH WAIT JESUS NO SHE'S GOING TO DO A SUPER FUCKING FRANKENSTEINER OFF THE TOP FOR THE ABSOLUTE SPITTING FUCK OF IT! TRISH MOTHERFUCKING STRATUS MOTHERFUCKERS!

Trish and Lita teasing the idea of them doing fucking topes in the Year of Our Lord 2018 is some carny ass shit, well done. Although Trish is so mentally suicidal that I have no trouble buying into her wanting to do a 41 Yr Old Mother of Two Tope. My GOD this crowd is loud. Also commentary is so fucking good.

Enjoyed the tag team rana. I never mention Lita much but she's been very good here.

TRISH HOT TAG WITH THE FLYING MARES! AND THE SIT OUT POWERBOMB! WHAT IN THE UTTER FUCK. TRISH HAS NEVER DONE A FLYING MARE BEFORE IN HER LIFE. SHE IS A 41 YEAR OLD MOTHER OF TWO WHO'S BEEN RETIRED FOR 12 YEARS AND SHE'S STILL ADDING MOVES TO HER REPERTOIRE. HOW. WHY. WHAT EVEN IS THIS WOMAN.

My word she just licked her hand and chopped her right in the tit! I think I'm having one of those dreams again.

Trish and Mickie doing the kick-knee move from WM22 popped me big. These guys are RIDICULOUS together. I'm still so fucking mad that they had 15 mins for Backlash 2006 and Trish got injured. Also Mickie deserves a fruit basket, she's been working for like 100 woman here. Wow that late run in was hilarious, both for Mickie's panicked "FOXY?!" after the 2 count, AND for her being a carny and letting Foxy be late rather than kick out of the Stratusfaction which has never been kicked out of. Kayfabe brother. That may be the safest looking moonsault Lita has ever thrown in her life. Mickie doing the bitchin' standing KO sell for the Kick slayed me. I love Mickie so much. She literally held Trish's and Lita's hand and walked them through this whole match like an absolute trooper. All the fruit baskets please. I loved this whole thing so much. I'm already not super coping with how much my heart is swelling at all of this. I may need a doctor.

THE BATTLE ROYAL? OK I definitely need a doctor. NAOMI DID THE MELINA ENTRANCE! SHOUTOUT TO MY NEW BFF MELINA WHOM I JUST MET AGAIN AT AN INDY SHOW IN FUCKING MARAYONG, AUSTRALIA IN A HALL WITH 180 PEOPLE. That was sweet. MICHELLE! MY DARLING! Is there a woman left who DIDN'T win a title in the Nassau Coliseum? I love you Sonya you big gaybo. DUCE! THE BIG DUCE IS IN! Beth marking out about Alundra was the best. Zelina and Kacy have to wrestle in the future in like the opposite of a hoss battle.

HOLLA HOLLA! AND ALL THE GIRLS IN THE CLUB SAY OOOOH! The unfairly maligned Kelly getting love gives me life. EMBER SPARKS THE FIRE! EMBER FANS THE FLAMES! Maria! I forgot she was in this. No offense to the Kanellis' theme but it's no Zebrahead! HER LEGS GO ON AND ON FOR DAAAAAAAYS! Mandy honey until you stop playing with poor Sonya's heart the way you do you have nothing to offer me. Lesbian solidarity.

MOLLYYYYYYY HOLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~!!!! ST MOLLY OF MINNESOTA! Her little Mighty Molly smile is the cutest thing in the entire world. Nia still really over. So is Asuka. I AM THE FUTURE! They could rehab Asuka in like 5 seconds flat if they wanted to. WHY DON'T THEY WANT TO. Aww Miz is there for his girl, so cute. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN EVERYONE WANTS YOU! TORRIE WILSONNNNNNN!!! Don't worry honey I'm on a mission for you. It super cracks me the fuck up that Torrie Wilson was the highest billed Legend.

The Iconics just get it. I like how they're on a cultural exchange mission to show the world just how fucking annoying bogans are. We been known. That was a fun opening, that and the oldies getting surrounded and BIG DUCE going all "Fuck it dudes let's start scrapping!"

The first thing I noticed about this match was that when the brawl began MOLLY HOLLY MADE A BEELINE FOR ASUKA AND MOLLY HOLLY AND ASUKA PHYSICALLY TOUCHED EACH OTHER IN A WRESTLING MATCH IN 2018 WHAT TRULY IS LIFE. I am never again going to know peaceful sleep the rest of my life because now I know that is something that could have potentially, possibly happened in one of the many universes we are currently experiencing on a cosmic level and yet it does not exist in this one and life is just that tiny bit duller and greyer now that I am acutely aware of that fact.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? NOT MOLLY!!!!

NOT KELLY TOO!!! GOD DAMN IT SONYA I PUT YOU OVER TO MY MOTHER AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO TO ME. STOP THROWING MY PEOPLE OUT.

OK THAT IS FUCKING IT NOT TORRIE! OH MY GOD THIS IS THE ROYAL RUMBLE OF MY DREAMS ALL OVER AGAIN. I HATE YOU SONYA YOU STUPID GAY ASSHOLE YOU TOO MANDY TO THINK THAT I SHIP YOU GUYS SO MUCH AND WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER NO YOU CAN ROT IN HELL LOSERS YOU WILL NEVER KNOW TRUE LOVE.

OK but Mandy double crossing Sonya ruled. Mainly for Sonya selling it. Sonya is so OTT and such a fucking goofball in real life that the minute she stops being her inner Ronda and starts embracing her inner Victoria and becomes a buffoon is the minute she is going to become fucking awesome. Just you wait.

Also every one of my girls took a stupid ass fucking bump to their deaths here. VIVA LA DIVAS INVASION!

Speaking of, somewhere in here Michelle McCool hooked up with Naomi and I was instantly transported back to 2010 when they had Laycool work a match on NXT Season 3 and Naomi was on the other side and 5 seconds of Michelle vs. Naomi work made me want about 387 million Michelle vs. Naomi matches so getting this little taste here was again ultimately quite the titillating tease and I'm going to lose even more sleep at night thinking about the 387 million Michelle vs. Naomi matches that exist in all the alternate universes also once again they're doing that thing where they're booking things solely to watch me pop. Thanks Papa Hunter. Thanks Sara Del Rey.

MARIA KANELLIS GAVE BIRTH LIKE 5 MINUTES AGO AND SHE LOOKS FANTASTIC LOOK AT HER GO. Having her baby at ringside was the cutest fucking thing. Well, maybe the second cutest fucking thing since the first was Renee indignantly going "Rude!" when she saw Maria get tossed in front of her own baby. I super love Renee so much.

GUYS TAMINA SNUKA IS A FUCKING 40 YEAR OLD MOTHER OF TWO WHO JUST SPENT NINE MONTHS OF HER LIFE COMING BACK FROM SURGERY AND SHE IS FUCKING SHOWING OUT IN THIS  SUMBITCH WHY DOES THIS NOT GET TALKED ABOUT MORE.

OH MY FUCK NIA JAX AND TAMINA HAD A FUCKING SAMOAN FAMILY HOSS OFF AND THEN THEY DID THE ROMAN REIGNS "OOOOOAAAAAHHHHHHH!" ROAR AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE DUDES IM LOSING IT HERE.

QUADRUPLE SUPLEX CITY MOFUCKERS. DANCE BREAK! Yes! Ivory is into it! I love bullshit like this in matches. And I LOOOOOOOOOVED Mandy continuing the Absolution vs. Legends theme only to get BESTED and eliminated by Ivory! Pro wrestling! Ivory has been, like, honestly she may never have looked this good in her entire career.

Dana got like 10 seconds of shine here before her premature death and she looked really good. Oh well, RIP. MICHELLE! My love! Teasing the Styles Clash just to pop me and then BOOTING EMBER OUT OF THE CLEAR BLUE FUCKING SKY. YES. MICHELLE MCCOOL LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME. I SAY THAT EVERY TIME BUT SHE LEGITIMATELY HAS NOT AGED A DAY SINCE 2011. 7 YEARS. SHE LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE SHE COULD WALTZ BACK IN TOMORROW. ALSO GIVE ME ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THE MICHELLE VS. EMBER MATCHES PLEASE AND FUCK.

Asuka selling for Ivory is the most fucked up thing I may have possibly ever seen in my entire life.

But in all seriousness Ivory did amazing. If you had told me on paper that IVORY of all people got to go the longest I would have punched you in the face but here we are it happened and she actually ruled. I can't believe I'm even saying that. Life is getting existentially surreal at this point.

EMBER AND ASUKA! EMBER AND ASUKA! The people popping for this made me so happy. They remember. And Ember remembers - her tossing Asuka out of this battle royal is the only significant victory Ember has ever got over Asuka and that's why she let out that ALMIGHTY ROAR when she did it. They're going to main event a PPV one day.

And now suddenly at the end of this match Ember is the underdog babyface of all our dreams. I had already said to my mother that I wanted Ember to win so we get Ember vs. Ronda. This was a great stretch with her suddenly fighting for her life vs. two giants. Her whole deal with Nia ruled. Are there people who still don't "get" Ember? Get fucked, if so.

ZELINA VEGA! That was hilarious. My word. Perfect spot for her. And HOLY SHIT WHEN SHE GOT TOSSED SHE KICKED TAMINA RIGHT IN THE FUCKING NOSE. EMBER AND NIA!!!! GIVE THIS MATCH TO ME A HUNDRED BILLION TIMES. Nia winning was cool because she was super over in this building and she seemed to super love it. Loved that it took her 3 seconds to pivot from bawling to cutting a promo on the title match. Bless. Ronda vs. Nia I was the best thing in the world so I am super, super fine with this direction.

AND NOW THE MAE YOUNG FUCKING CLASSIC FINAL. THIS PPV DOESN'T STOP AND IT'S REALLY SUPER BAD FOR MY HEALTH. MY POOR HEART.

It's fascinating to me that Toni's outward persona that they keep pushing is "outgoing cocky rockstar" when in fact Toni has morphed into or possibly just revealed herself to be an incredibly sweet, relatable underdog babyface. Before the tourney started I assumed Io Shirai would be the star and easy pick to win and by the end of it Meiko was the star and watching Toni say "She's not gonna beat me." I 100% believed it in my soul, even if I still assumed in my head that Io would win. I am so fucking pumped for THOHMYGODMEIKOISHERE! I REPEAT MEIKO IS HERE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! SOMEONE CHECK ON MICHAEL COLE! WELL FUCK ME DEAD WHY DIDN'T SHE JUMP THE FENCE AND ENTER THE BATTLE ROYAL AND KILL EVERYONE IN IT???

Also shoutout to my girl there Rhea Ripley. Check out the MYC if you haven't yet (and the Stacey and Steven Podcasts!) to see why she's now my new favourite wrestler. My girl.

Toni looks overwhelmed, in the best possible way. Or maybe I'm just projecting because she's an Australian woman so my feeling of living vicariously through her is much more acute than for any other wrestlers who aren't women from Australia. This is gonna fucking bang.

Mum update: she's heard me bang on about the MYC but hasn't seen any of it. She's going for Aussie Toni because she's Australian. I'm sorry mum, pretty sure you're going to be disappointed very soon.

Toni effing DRILLED her with that German. No, not THAT German, an earlier one in the ring. Toni also has the craziest Umaga butt bump since Umaga. RUNNING SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR! ARGH. GERMAN SUPLEX FROM HELL ON THE APRON! DOUBLE ARGH. They're dropping some napalm up in here. The strike exchange that ended in the lariat from hell and Storm Zero kickout ruled. Io's 619 and SPRINGBOARD SUNSET FLIP FROM THE SKY ruled too. SHE GOT THE KNEES UP! SHE GOT HER WHOLE FUCKING LEGS UP! STORM ZERO! HOLY SHIT SHE'S GOING TO WIN! SHE WON! AHHHHHHHHHH! OHMYGOD I WAS SUPER NOT EXPECTING THIS! AUSSIE TONI THE AUSTRALIAN WRESTLER!

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT RHEA RIPLEY WITH THE SARCASTIC SLOW CLAP AT RINGSIDE. OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE THIS WOMAN SHE IS THE FUCKING GUY SHE IS MY FAVE EVERYONE GET ON BOARD THE RHEA RIPLEY TRAIN NOW MY GIRL IS GOING TO BLOW THE FUCK UP SHE'S GOT IT DUDES SHE'S GOING TO CONQUER THE WORLD.

PAPA HAITCH! MAMA STEPH! SARA DEL REY! FLOWERS! HUGS! TONI IS CRYING. I'M CRYING. YOU'RE CRYING. Toni out loud going, "GUYS WHAT IS MY LIFE" is a legit fucking mood right now.

Wait. What. EVE TORRES IS IN THE BUILDING?? WHY DIDN'T SHE RUN INTO THE BATTLE ROYAL! SHE LOOKS EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME I CANNOT I JUST CANNOT EVEN.

OK so I had just barely recovered from all this, well not really, and anyway Sasha fucking Banks comes out and is trying so visibly hard not to burst into tears that I for real just can't take it anymore. Take me now God. Life will never feel like this again. Oh God Finn is here for Bayley. I GET SHIPS ON THIS SHOW TOO??? STOP IT. IT'S TOO MUCH. I CAN'T BREATHE.

The Riott Squad look fucking baller. How good are they going. It's also nice how the commentators now put over women getting wrestling milestone-related tattoos instead of burying them.

Liv Morgan dropping down to stare at Nattie was awesome. Nattie is the best house show wrestler ever, she loves that shit. Liv Morgan has improved out of sight and really the entire Riott Squad are on a tremendous roll. Super loved Bayley doing the baseball slide in the corner, only to try it again and get fucking posted.

Have I mentioned how good this commentary is. I refuse to accept anyone other than Renee and Beth ever again.

OH MY FUCKING JESUS FUCK. SASHA IS DEAD. AGAIN. GOOD LORD. I like the idea that Sasha undershooting allowed the heels to catch her and kill her instead of eating the dive. Brutal fucking Doomsday Device too. And a nice Hart Attack earlier.

OMGGGG I WAS SO WORRIED AFTER THE ACCIDENTAL CONTACT THAT THEY'D BREAK UP BUT NO BAYLEY IS THE BESTEST BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD SHE LAID ON SASHA TO SACRIFICE HERSELF TO SAVE HER LIFE BAYLEY IS ON SOME 6/9/95 KOBASHI SHIT RIGHT NOW GET IN ME.

DOUBLE SHARPSHOOTER!

What a banging finishing stretch. Powerbomb! Elbow! Dive! Frogsplash! Peace on earth, joy to the world. Everyone rules. Nattie looked like a supes awks third wheel intruding on Sasha and Bayley's moment after. Get a room.

I HAD JUST BARELY GOT SOMEWHERE REMOTELY RESEMBLING FINE AND THEN ALICIA FOX IS BAWLING ABOUT THIS BEING THE BIGGEST MATCH OF HER CAREER CAN YOU PLEASE FUCKING STOP.

AND NOW THE NXT FUCKING TITLE MATCH IT JUST KEEPS GOING AND GOING IT CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP AND I'M LOSING ALL OF MY MIND HERE. I AM SO PSYCHED FOR THIS.

Mum update: "So, who are these people?"

For the official record, posting on the PWO board, your honour, I am completely in love with Shayna Baszler. Shayna strutting around in leather jackets and sunnies and murdering people for sheer sport with a smirk is my perpetual big gay mood and I love her. What a woman. I lied earlier Shayna is for sure my favourite wrestler.

And yet she can go to absolute hell because NXT is still real to me damn it and Kairi the Pirate rules and she MUST WIN THIS. OH MY GOD A NEW SONG. HOW DOES SHE HAVE A NEW PIRATE SONG AND I'M NOT EVEN MAD ABOUT HER LOSING HER ALREADY AWESOME FIRST PIRATE SONG. Kairi the Pirate IS pro wrestling.

AHHHHHHHHH!!! HER ARM! HER FUCKING ARM! SHAYNA IS THE FUCKING BUSINESS YO. Are there still people around who can't get around Shayna? Do they still exist? If so, get fucked. This was awesome and brutal and disgusting and brilliant arm work. My Good God. That stomp. The twisting. The bending. This was fucked up man.

Mum update: "Ahhhhh!" (At the arm work. She's sold.)

Kairi sold like a million fucking bucks too. Fantastic one armed comeback. Loved that BIG dive to the floor and then OH SHIT THE HORSEWOMEN DORKS! SHIT SHIT SHIT. NO! FUCK OFF! YES FIGHT THEM OFF KAIRI! BOOM SPINNING BACKFIST! EAT SOME AJA KONG BITCHES! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! FIGHT IT! FIGHT IT KAIRI! YES! NO! NO. ARGH. I FUCKING HATE THIS. I MEAN I LOVE IT. BUT I HATE IT. FUCKING DORKS. BOO!

Mum update: "Well that sucks! Bullshit! I'm never watching wrestling again!" (It's still real to us damn it.)

Kairi waking up and finding out she lost - nope. Big nope. I can't stand this. But please have a million more matches. Also I hated this result because kayfabe brother but I absolutely love the shit out of Shayna and I'm therefore also stoked and I spent the evening driving around blasting her theme song and air guitaring and yelling "Dada da dada da DAH DAH - dada da dada DRRR!" out of the window like a fucking lunatic.

AND AFTER ALL OF THAT HEART STOPPING NONSENSE WE GET WARRRRR BECKY MOTHERFUCKING LYNCH.

Nope.

Can't do it. Too much. Send help. Call 000.

Becky in the video package going, "Oi luuuuv moiself" with that smirk before setting Edge on fire was fucking amazing. Watch any of the media or videos Becky has been doing over the weekend - everything that comes out of her mouth is magic and she is living and breathing this character like nobody has ever fucking lived or breathed before. I lied again just now because imagine me even pretending like my favourite wrestler in the world isn't Becky fucking Lynch. I honestly can't remember the last time I was this in love with a wrestler. It's been years and years and years. I am done. I am gone. I am head over heels with this woman.

Becky has now taken to calling herself The Man and this sets my soul ablaze with delight for a million reasons, the main two being: a. I am the #1 purveyor of gender-flipping phrases and idioms of the English language, and b. We're basically one step away from Becky telling us to call her Daddy and I'm not sure wrestling Twitter could survive such a thing and frankly my big gay heart 100% would not survive such a thing so please you may not care about Wrestling Twitter but won't somebody think of my health. This show is taking years off my life and also at the same time adding years to my life it's a weird feeling. Hopefully I at least break even by the end of it.

I'll give this to Charlotte, she knows how to rock a PPV Outfit. And to be fair to Flair LOLOLOL but seriously, sure I may carpet bomb Stamford, CT if she wins this match and I'm TERRIFIED that she might win this match but she also delivers in EVERY big match she is ever put in without fail she is Big Match Char so my body is ready let's get it on.

GET A LOAD OF BECKY. GET AN ABSOLUTE LOAD OF HER. SWEET BABY JESUS.

WOAAAAAAAHHHHHOHHHHHOHHHHOHHHHOHHHHHOHHHH!

When Charlotte does that arm stretch thing during the intros she looks so much like Ric it's scary.

OH MY MOTHER EFFING JESUS CHRISTING GOD. THEY ARE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER LIKE THEY'RE GOING TO MURDER EACH OTHER AND HAVE ALREADY THOUGHT OF 18 DIFFERENT WAYS TO HIDE THE BODY. SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE TODAY. THIS IS MURDEROUS. I AM GIDDY.

A Running List of All The Ways Becky Lynch Channelled The Rock on This Show:
1. Mocking the Flair strut before the elbow drop.
2. Protecting her head for the backdrop driver from hell onto the chairs.
3. Hitting a Rock Bottom onto the chairs.
4. Being the most insanely charismatic and transcendentally arresting person on the entire roster and possibly the entire world to the point where it's almost unfair on the rest of the roster and possibly the rest of the world. Nobody should be allowed to be on this level. It's rude.

I like how wrestling logic is like "You know what, Becky hasn't been mean enough lately, let's give her some DEADLY WEAPONS!" I'm terrified.

OMG THE CAMERA MISSED IT BUT BECKY THROWING THE STICK BEHIND HER AND BETH CATCHING IT LIKE A NINJA SOUNDS LIKE THE BEST THING EVER. SHADES OF TERRY FUNK CATCHING THE CHAIR TOSSED BY STAN HANSEN!

HOLY SHIT THE CHAIR TOSS WAS SO GOOD. SHADES OF ECW. I also looooooooooved how they made it into a pissing contest between them to see who could throw the most chairs and neither wanted to blink so they just ended up in this dumbfuck chair tossing contest because they don't want to lose to the other at ANYTHING. And this was the most logical way to get to "Hey let's put 17 chairs in the ring to bump on" I've ever seen.

AND THEN BECKY FAKED MOVING ON TO A TABLE SETTING UP CONTEST BUT WHEN CHARLOTTE GRABBED A TABLE BECKY FLEW IN AND NAILED HER SHE IS AN EVIL GENIUS I LOVE HER.

AHHHHHH BACKDROP DRIVAH FROM HELL ONTO CHAIRS!!! ROCK BOTTOM FROM HELL ONTO CHAIRS!!! Full credit to Charlotte she is always willing to eat some absolute shit in matches.

THE MOONSAULT DIDN'T WORK FKN LOOOOOLOLOLOLOL. SHADES OF LAYCOOL! Women and tables are cursed. But I love how in context what could have been a goofy "let's try the same spot again" moment actually came off like "Get fucked, I HAVE TO put this asshole through this table and kill her, she's not getting out of this hurtin', let me find another way" and BOOM SENTON.

THE LADDER MAGICALLY STANDING UP was amazing and Becky knocking it over was the worst thing she has ever done. The slam on the ladder looked like it SUUUUUCKED so once again, Charlotte can motherfucking eat some shit.

I love them keeping busy while Charlotte figures out how to get the ladder Figure 8 done. And then THE LADDER FIGURE 8! SICKNESS. Referee Mike Chioda obviously boos the Woo because he had to kick the chair to Becky hahahaha.

Becky is so Becky that people can't even care when she tries to walkout. I am going fucking INSANE for this big brawl in the crowd.

I have never seen anyone throw a TV monitor off an announce table that hard before. Charlotte is PISSED. At this point I'm scared she might actually kill this sheila.

Well I was wrong because LEG DROP FROM HELL OFF THE LADDER THROUGH THE FUCKING TABLE!!!!!

Charlotte getting up from that and going "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT??" was some badass fucking shit. AND NOW BECKY IS BURYING HER UNDER A PILE OF SHIT OMG YESSSSSSSSSS DO IT DO IT!

BRAWFGRGHJGHJGHGHJGHNGHNGH! CHARLOTTE BRAUNS UP AND EMERGES LIKE SOME KIND OF FUCKING MYTHICAL CREATURE HOLY SHIIIIIIIIT. CHARLOTTE DEADSET LOOKS LIKE SHE'S WONDERING HOW MANY PIECES SHE CAN CUT BECKY'S BODY INTO BEFORE SHE DIES SHE IS A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH CALL THE FUCKING COPS.

FUCK FUCK FUCK WAIT NO FUCK CHARLOTTE IS GETTING GLORIOUS BABYFACE REVENGE NO DON'T WIN DON'T WIN FUCK OFF OFF. THIS IS TERRIFYING.

YES! YES! GET HER! DO IT! YES! POWERBOMB THROUGH THE FUCKING TABLE! KILL HER! EAT HER! YES YES YES! THANK FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK. BECKY IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD SHE IS THE FUCKING MAN THANK GOD.

That whole ending was TERRIFYING because as soon as Charlotte Charlotte'd Up from the depths of hell it was set up for her to come back and win and I thought Becky was done for so well done of them for working me with that finish. Charlotte wins every big match even when she shouldn't because reasons but NOT TODAY SATAN BECKY IS THE MAN SHE AIN'T FUCKING WITH YOUR BULLSHIT.

ARGH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

The gigantic little girl pop the Bellas got here should give you some indication of why they're in this spot. Fuck with them or not but they're over, God only knows why. Can't fight city hall. Ronda is a superstar, and not to harp on but the insane thing is that right now Becky feels like an even bigger deal than Ronda.

Ronda starting by just completely fucking around is my jam. This was brutal. Taking her down at will AND THEN LITERALLY HELPING HER UP AND TELLING HER TO FIGHT BACK was some boss ass shit.

POSTED! HOW HAS RONDA BEEN WRESTLING FOR 5 MINS AND SHE ALREADY TAKES A BETTER POST BUMP THAN ALL WRESTLERS EVER?? Every Ronda match I freak out all over again just how fucking good she is this quickly. It should not be physically possible for her to be this good.

The thing about her that's so great, and it's the exact same thing that made Brock Lesnar so great (among others) is that she is clearly so far and away more legitimately dangerous than everyone else, she could kill Nikki at will, and yet SHE IS SO FUCKING GREAT AT SELLING that the match goes on and Nikki gets SO MUCH OFFENSE in on Ronda and you never once question it. The way she sells, the way she struggles is just fantastic. How the FUCK is she this good.

I'm not sure off hand what would be the best heel performance of Brie Bella's career because she's always been the lesser heel of the two and has the lesser matches so honestly this may be the best heel performance of Brie Bella's career. She was great on the outside throughout this.

Ronda Rondaing Up is the fucking best shit. She can lead you on with this selling and then the minute the switch flips and she stops fucking around and gets THE LOOK you know people are about to get MURKED. DOUBLE JUDO FLIP THING! THE SLAP RECEIPT! ALABAMA SLAM! RACK ATTACK 2.0 KICKOUT! CRAZY TWISTING ROLLUP OFF THE TOP ROPE! Ronda busts out new shit every time still and it rocks. Ronda wins, peace on earth.

I am fucking exhausted by this once again but honestly I could watch this show a hundred fucking times. This is the biggest feel good show of all time. Everything is nice and lovely and perfect and I love everything.

 

This needs to happen for every PPV.  I really liked the show, thought Charlotte/Becky was terrific, Toni/Io a ton of fun if way too short and was blown away by how great and how much I loved the 6 woman tag.  But this post may have topped it all.

[Jimmy Redman]

4 minutes ago, WingedEagle said:

This needs to happen for every PPV.  I really liked the show, thought Charlotte/Becky was terrific, Toni/Io a ton of fun if way too short and was blown away by how great and how much I loved the 6 woman tag.  But this post may have topped it all.

Mate if I went through this for every PPV I'd have a heart attack.

I'm still thinking about it. Luckily for my health I'm pretty sure I'll never care about anything this much ever again. Although I thought that after the Rumble too so.