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Bobby Heenan RIP


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What can you say. One of the best color commentators, managers and personalities of all-time. He created and perfected the heel color commentator role. He was in the main event of the most iconic wrestling show of all time and managed a whole roster of Hall of Famers. When you think wrestling manager, he's likely the first person to come up.


I always thought WWE and other promotions were incredibly stupid not to try and sign him and Gene after WCW had folded. I don't know what kind of role he could have played in the WWE Ruthless Aggression era, but if anyone could have figured it out, it would have been The Brain.


Losing him is very sad for wrestling and him having voice issues truly was one of wrestling's biggest losses. Bobby should have been out there with Cornette doing shows and sharing his wisdom with us for decades.

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I am called the brain follower because to me, Bobby Heenan is the greatest entertainer in wrestling history. Like so many I didn't have the easiest childhood, but every Sunday afternoon I would look forward to an hour's antics of the Brain with Wrestling Challenge. He was truly the greatest, an inspiration with his razor sharp fast wit that inspires me every day (though my own humor is a little more modern) as an entertainer.


If anyone is doing a podcast tribute, I'd really like to participate. I cannot be at his funeral obviously but I want to talk about how much that man meant to me.

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I met him in 1999 at an autograph signing at a record store. Knowing how bored and overall grouchy he had become in WCW, his demeanor that day isn't all that surprising. I talked to him for about 5 minutes, and he did well enough to engage but I could kind of tell he wanted to be anywhere else than a place that was blasting loud rock music, and being asked questions of varying interest by marks.

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I absolutely loved this man. He was the funniest person ever, in or out of wrestling.

I'm not trying to plug myself, but back in 2004 I wrote a story with a character based on the Bobby Heenan character, in my case called "Bobby 'the Brain' Toomer." It was in a book called THE GUANT-FACED GRAPPLER and you can download it FREE from here https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/366099 if you are interested. The story is called "Brainstorming."

Again, I'm not plugging myself and I won't earn a nickle from this, but maybe if you were a Heenan fan you might get a kick out of it.

RIP, Mr Heenan, you were a brain, a weasel, and a genius.

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RIP Bobby.




"A friend in need is a pest."


"What happened there? My monitor went out."


"You don't have to yell at me! I'm not blind!"


Gorilla: "Brain, if you keep quiet, no one will know how stupid you are."

Bobby: "You're kidding."


Heenan: " That's either the flock or the who's who of skid row."

Schiavone: " Maybe both."


(After saying something smart)

"Do you think this brain thing is a gimmick?"


"If you ever had your moon salted you'd know how painful that could be."


(after Juventud Guerrera took off his mask)

"Maybe that's Okerlund under there?" and later. . .

"Now when he delivers pizza, everyone will know who he is."


(Talking about the Narcissist Lex Luger's elbow)

"He's had more hits than Elvis."


"You know what slows down Typhoon? Twinkies--Hostess Cupcakes."


(Talking about Typhoon)

"He uses his weight advantage at dinner."


"Doink is like Jell-o: there is always room for more."


"It's a dog eat dog world, and Mr. Perfect is a Milk Bone."


(When Bob Backlund is entering the arena)

"At 234 pounds, from Mayberry, Opie Taylor."


"North Dakota State. What do you have to do there to graduate? Milk a cow with your left hand?


Jim Ross: "Hey everybody can't be born with a silver spoon in their mouth and have a chauffeur named Jennifer, who told me she hasn't had a raise in several months."

Bobby Heenan: "She said that?"

Ross: "Yes"

Heenan: "She's fired. I'll unload her like I found her. Do you need a job on the weekends?"

Ross: "I'm a little busy on the weekend"

Heenan: "Oh that's right, you just drive pickup trucks."


"Stu Hart trained all his kids--only three of them use the litter box."


(Talking about the Guerrero family)

"Their family is watching this at home wondering if the wheels are going to get stolen off their house.


(Chris Benoit was wrestling a fake midget Rey Mysterio, Jr.)

"I know who that is. It is the chihuahua from the Taco Bell commercials."


Terry Schiavone: "I smell Jackhammer. I smell Hogan."

Bobby Heenan: "Anyone close to him does."


Heenan: "You call them Luchadores?"

Tenay: "Luchadores."

Heenan: "That sounds like the tight pants that you wear at a bullfight."


(Talking about Chavo Guerrero)

"He's the only guy I know that has a stable of stick horses."


"If you're poor and you do something stupid, you're nuts. If you're rich and do something stupid, you're eccentric."


"You know you put too many lemons in your lemonade when you pucker too much."


Tony Schiavone: "Scott Hall is looking a little better this week."

Bobby Heenan: "It's only Monday."


"There's another way to look at this: there are 153 Villanos wrestling."


(Talking about Chris Jericho)

Lee Marshall: "He is an ego maniac."

Bobby Heenan: "But he's good at it!"


Lee Marshall: "Good observation Brain."

Bobby Heenan: "That's why I'm called the Brain. And that's why I'm here on the Brain Station, TBS."


(Talking about Raven)

Bobby Heenan: "I wonder what his childhood was like: was he from wealthy parents, was he neglected, or was he spoiled?

Tony Schiavone: "Who cares?"

Heenan: "I do!"


Bobby Heenan: "Some nights the Villanos sit around the fire with popcorn and their masks on."

Tony Schiavone: "I hate you!"


(Talking about Alex Wright)

"His mother told me when he was eight months old he sat up in his crib and said 'Headlock.' "


(Talking about Koko B. Ware)

"The job is only half done. If they want to shrink his head, they already shrunk his haircut."


(Talking about Yokozuna on the day before Thanksgiving)

"505 pounds and maybe more after tomorrow."


"There is good news and bad news about Rey's shirt, The bad news is the shirt don't fit him, the good news is all the luchadores are moving in"


"There trying to say he just put the figure three on him self."


"If it wasn't for Mrs. Gurrero's chili they wouldn't have invented Rolaids."


Bobby Heenan: "That's not the first time he's been on the ground holding his stomach."

Tony Schiavone: "Huh?"

Bobby Heenan: "Obviously you've never had any of Mrs. Gurrero's chili."


"If you were smart you could have made a Duralog out of Pepe."


(crack at the Bushwhackers)

"The city of New York could legally condemn them."


Gorilla Monsoon: "The Pendulum swings."

Bobby Heenan: "Like a pendulum do."

Gorilla Monsoon: "is that a tune?"

Bobby Heenan: "Why do you hear music?"

Gorilla Monsoon: "No."


(Talking about Jim Niedhart)

"Now he's the sane one of the team?"


(Jim Niedhart looks into the camera and laughs)

"I think his headband is on too tight on the Anvil's head. I see I'm right."


"That shirt: It's like sinus infection green."


Tony Schiavone "I'm sure a liar has to make a living like everyone else."

Bobby Heenan "That's why we're here."


(Talking about Ralphus's dress)

"Obviously some cheap motel is missing a shower curtain."


"How could you not turn your attention to Ralphus; he's quite the looker."


(Talking about Chavo Guerrero, Jr.)

"He's never been the same since he lost Mr. Ed."


Bobby Heenan: "And don't forget Mickey Jay. He's a second generation, too."

Tony Schiavone: "Who's his father?"

Bobby Heenan: "He's not a wrestling referee. He ref'ed a pee-wee football league back in the '40's."


(Talking about Rey Mysterio, Jr. before he unmasks)

"I think he's ugly. What do you guys think?"


(After Rey Mysterio, Jr. unmasks)

"It's Leave it to Beaver!"


"You should just get beat up for having a last name Whipneck."


(Talking about Mikey Whipwreck)

"Do you think that when Mikey was a kid, was he his parents' little whipper-snapper?"


"Tony, it looks like your room at the Motel 3."


(Talking about Will Sasso from Mad TV)

"We're watching the illegitimate child of Alfred E. Neuman out there."


(Talking about Will Sasso's outfit)

"Do you know what the number 73 means? That's the number of double cheeseburgers he had from 4 - 5."


"I smell a title change, or is it you Tony?"


Bobby Heenan: "I figured out who the Patriot is."

Tony Schiavone: "Who?"

BH: "Where is he from?"

TS: "Washington, DC."

BH: "It's Al Gore."


Mike Tenay: "He's got Roman numerals on his trunks."

Bobby Heenan: "His numerals shouldn't be roamin'."


Mike Tenay: "What took us so long to come to Chapel Hill?"

Bobby Heenan: "We couldn't find it."


(Talking about Tony Schiavone)

"Next week I'll be on the Cartoon Network with pictures of your last date."


(Talking about Jim Duggan)

"He's has a disadvantage when he wakes up."


"What good is shaking your hands? If you want to shake something, put your hands together and wrap them around your opponent's head."


"I remembered when Tony came to WCW. He took the mask off and his career skyrocketed."


"You spend nine years in a hardcore punk band--of course you'd be deaf."


Mike Tenay: "Just who is the leader of the nWo?"

Bobby Heenan: "I'm not sure, but I wouldn't be surprised if Tony Danza comes out."


(During a hardcore match)

"These two move more furniture than Mayflower."


Tony Schiavone: "Don't try this in your backyard."

Bobby Heenan: "Do it in your living room, it is much more fun. Or maybe in Tony's living room, he'll never know."


"What has Saturn got on? Mudflaps?"


(Booker T makes his own count for the win)

"That wouldn't work. You gotta have a guy dressed like a zebra for that."


"Just the other day I was talking to Cal Ripken, Jr. and he asked me 'Do they pay Tony?' "


"And for those of you that dropped out of high school, remember the famous phrase: 'Do you want fries with that?' "


"I don't have el zippo, I don't even smoke or have a lighter!"


(Talking about Hulk Hogan and pyrotechnics)

"At least he doesn't have to worry about his hair catching on fire."


Jim Ross: "Tremendous ovation for Hacksaw Jim Duggan."

Bobby Heenan: "I don't know why!"


"Kidman's like a broken drum: hard to beat."


"You don't need a vacuum cleaner out here: he's cleaning house himself."


(If Kidman lost the hair vs. mask match)

"What a great new tag team: The Okerlunds"


(Referring to the First Family, who were wearing masks, at Halloween Havoc)

"Jimmy Hart told me they would be wearing masks to the ring. I'm wondering why aren't they."


Tony Schiavone: "I never even knew Evan Karagias was here."

Bobby Heenan: "I never know where he is and don't care."


"Is everyone from Texas nuts, or are we just lucky to see the ones we do?"


Tony Schiavone: "Pardon me."

Bobby Heenan: "I'm not the governor."


Gorilla Monsoon: "He might have some relatives here. He's looking around."

Bobby Heenan: "He's looking for the exit: the quick way out."


Gorilla Monsoon: "The Texas Tornado could sustain permanent brain damage if it's kept on for much longer."

Bobby Heenan: "Then again it could increase his IQ by 9 points. That would make an even 10."


Gorilla Monsoon: "The corner of the steps hit him in the trapezius."

Bobby Heenan: "That's what they use in the circus."


Tony Schiavone: "That's one of the tings that makes this sport great."

Bobby Heenan: "No I'm one of the things that makes this sport great!"


(Referring to Tony Schiavone)

"That's "The Brain" right there. -And that's the other part of the anatomy"

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Bret Hart, typically eloquent, on Twitter:


"Goodbye to another friend. Bobby Heenan has been my hero these past few years. How he battled cancer with such defiance and courage in recent years has mystified me. He was always sharp as a tack, and whether anyone, including him ever knew it, he was the absolute absolute toughest man the wrestling world ever knew. Rest in peace Bobby, nobody will ever forget all that you gave. Bret"

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Truly one of the best to ever do it. No one has come close. There are so few personalities in pro wrestling that can do all that he did and do it so convincingly and with such apparent ease. Just amazing all around. His HOF speech is one of the best of all time and his shout out to Monsoon but at the HOF, NItro, and every other place is always touching to see and hear. When I think of pro wrestling managers--I think Bobby Heenan.

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They don't make them like Bobby Heenan anymore. So talented that if he had connections and so desired, he could have been a success in entertainment. I mean really just think about it. Who would out shine him. Imagine if he was on Saturday Night Live! He would be a great side kick to any Late Night Star.

Bobby was a stand-up guy in every way. Always was true to his word. When everyone in AWA chased the money in New York, Bobby stayed to finish up the dates he was booked. Bobby was so creative and knew how to get the audience eating out of his hand.

Bobby's talent should have been used to develop new ideas when his neck issues took him off the road.Atlanta gave him great offer and Vince should have been thankful for everything Bobby did for the company. God Bless the Heenan family.

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