The WWE Global Cruiserweight show

[Johnny Sorrow]

Sabre vs Gulak stunk worse than a Planned Parenthood dumpster. Fucking awful. That slap exchange was so fucking terrible. "It's gotten to the point where they stop doing awful wrestling and start hitting each other!" And Laverne and Shirley had more convincing exchanges. The Three Stooges are spinning in their graves over that pussy slap fight. Terrible.

[C.S.]

Maybe I was tired, but the first two matches didn't "wow" me.

 

- Rich Swann vs. Lince Dorado: Both of them were middle of the road for me in the first round, and that didn't change here. Yes, they looked crisp, but the match almost felt like more of an exhibition than a contest to me. Swann's exaggerated frothing at the mouth would've been an awesome spot if it had been earned. It wasn't in this match, not even remotely.

 

- Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Drew Gulak: I'll continue calling Zack Sabre Jr. the most overrated guy in the tournament. Drew Gulak seems like a science teacher outside the ring but at least he has presence inside of it. I 100% agree with Johnny's assessment of that slap-fight. That was the worst shit I've ever seen. That's something you expect to see wimpy Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen characters do in a movie for bad comedic effect. It boggled my mind to see two "hard strikers" - or whatever the fuck they're supposed to be - with slaps that looked that bad, and I felt embarrassed for the commentators who had to gush over that dogshit and sell it the way they did.

 

- Johnny Gargano vs. TJ Perkins: I'll still lukewarm on Perkins, and Gargano's "knee injury" unfortunately telegraphed the result. Still, they made me doubt in the end with a nice final stretch of false finishes. I was really rooting for Gargano to advance, but he honestly doesn't need it. If the knee injury happened at Takeover, that's some surprisingly long-term planning on WWE's part because I believe this was filmed before that. The best match of the night, but I credit that more to Gargano.

 

This was easily the weakest CWC episode yet, but it was still fun, which tells you how high the bar has been raised in this tournament.

 

They didn't announce next week's matches, and I don't remember all of the brackets for the "Elite Eight," but I do know that ZSJ will be facing Noam Dar. As much as I'm disappointed by ZSJ, my least favorite wrestler still in the tournament is easily Dar. At least this guarantees that he'll finally be eliminated...I hope! I suspect they're going for a Kota Ibushi vs. ZSJ final though. I really hope not, as that seems too obvious to me and ZSJ hasn't wowed me the way I wanted him to. The only thing worse would be Dar beating ZSJ and eventually ending up in the finals himself.

[Gutenberger]

Swann vs. Dorado was a fun spotfest, but nothing special at all. Didn't matter to me who would've won, so no positive or negative feelings there.

 

Gulak vs. ZSJ was a much better outing for Sabre than his first match, but that doesn't mean anything since said first match was complete garbage form his side. I still think Gallagher is MILES ahead of him, and also thought Gulak looked way better than Zack. I just don't get the hype. Yeah, he can bend. So what?

 

I was rooting so much for Gargano that his loss against Perkins is tmy first real disappointment in someone getting eliminated. I know it was retty much unrealistic that he would win, but I had hopes. Although perkins has done a great job in his two matches and is not at all undeserving, I simply wanted to see Gargano advance.

 

So, the only one in the quarter finals who, in my eyes, has no right to be there whatsoever is Noam Dar, and he's pretty much guaranteed to be eliminated next round.

[NotJayTabb]

So, the only one in the quarter finals who, in my eyes, has no right to be there whatsoever is Noam Dar, and he's pretty much guaranteed to be eliminated next round.

Well, Dar is under contract and appearing on videos on Raw to promote the division, whilst ZSJ is very much not signing a contract at this time, so a Dar win isn't unlikely. I still think ZSJ will win, but don't rule Dar out.

 

I also think Dar has been unlucky in that he's fought two very poor guys so far in the tournament, and fighting someone as good as ZSJ will hopefully give him a chance to prove what he can do.

[C.S.]

I also think Dar has been unlucky in that he's fought two very poor guys so far in the tournament, and fighting someone as good as ZSJ will hopefully give him a chance to prove what he can do.

 

I disagree. While Gurv Shira and Ho Ho Lun were far from the best guys in the tournament, they're both better than Dar from what I've seen.

[Robert S]

(...) with Swan/Dorado being crap (...)

I could not agree more. After both guys throwing the worst strikes imaginable (and lots of them) it really felt good seeing Gulak (and to a lesser degree ZSJ) go all out with the stiffness.

 

Daniel Bryan is slowly jumping the shark as a commentator for me. This week he seemed sounded like Gabe in 2004 switching almost randomly between normal speaking and shouting.

[World's Worst Man]

That Gargano/Perkins match, man. I know they're trying to get their shit into a shortish match, but the selling was just abysmal. Get hit by a big kick with a loud slap sound effect? Better pretend like nothing happened 5 seconds later. It's not even just them, Swann/Dorado was pretty crummy too. Actually, Swann just seems like the shits in general, I've been very unimpressed.Crap selling, ridiculous facials, bleh.

[...TG]

That Gargano/Perkins match, man. I know they're trying to get their shit into a shortish match, but the selling was just abysmal. Get hit by a big kick with a loud slap sound effect? Better pretend like nothing happened 5 seconds later. It's not even just them, Swann/Dorado was pretty crummy too. Actually, Swann just seems like the shits in general, I've been very unimpressed.Crap selling, ridiculous facials, bleh.

 

I thought Gargano's leg selling was exceptional. As far as the other selling went, it didn't seem particularly egregious by the standards of 2016 work.

[World's Worst Man]

Gargano's leg selling was good. It seemed to mostly be related to the big strikes they were hitting yet not selling at all 5 seconds later. You're right though, I don't think this is anything new, I just seem to be noticing it a lot more lately. Or maybe I'm just watching more modern wrestling lately.

[Coffey]

I just caught up on the tournament & I must say, I'm really digging it. Several of the wrestlers I wasn't familiar with at all & I have been pleasantly surprised. It sort of feels like the old WCW Sunday b-show & that's really refreshing to me. I like T.J. Perkins & Jack Gallagher. Between the tag match at NXT Takeover & his match last night, I'm pretty high on Johnny Gargano right now too. Good stuff.

[C.S.]

Interview with Zach Sabre Jr.

 

http://talksport.com/wwe/zack-sabre-jr-depth-wwe-cruiserweight-classic-star-reveals-permanent-us-move-plans-160825207646

 

Wait 'til WWE finds out about his OCD. I can just see the gimmick now...

[Jimmy Redman]

Mauro spending the first match shouting about MMA means this week he was channeling his inner Dave Meltzer on commentary. Apart from me ROFLing at him saying goofy as fuck lines like "Shades of the Pancrase fighting organisation~!" the opener wasn't anything, and I agree that trying to randomly shoehorn an intense strike battle into what was up until that point a pretty co operative-looking flippydo dance was lame.

 

I actually liked Gulak/Zack quite a bit, I thought it was a huge step up from Zack's first round performance. I at least buy Gulak being a grittier fighter who will throw strikes and force Zack to toughen up a bit to compete in the clutch. And I think grapplefuck is another one of those things in wrestling that I am going to enjoy a lot more when filtered through the lens of WWE/NXT. I really liked the exchange that ended in the back suplex, and also the final moments. Zack is still unconvincing as a favourite but he did better here.

 

Perkins/Gargano was good, but really only hit a high gear with the dive that re-injured Gargano's leg. I am so impressed with the foresight in factoring Takeover into a match that was taped weeks ago, and it gave the final stretch a hook. Perkins is great physically, but he has the kind of quiet, expressionless face that makes him look like he's just play acting as someone with charisma, instead of actually having charisma. In a week where we're talking a lot about the buckle bomb and the danger of moves that involve a guy being hurled into the furniture with no control, Gargano's Lawn Dart move looks scary and unnecessary as shit. I'd be perfectly happy if he limited that to once a year. Finish was inevitable but well done, since I still perked up at one or two of Johnny's nearfalls.

 

For the quarters, the only safe calls I can make are Zack over Dar and Ibushi over Kendrick (sadly). The other two matches I can see going either way.

[C.S.]

Mauro's commentary is basically this:

 

"Wow, he almost soiled himself after that stiff kick, Bryan - shades of the legendary Sycho Sid at WrestleMania 13."

[Loss]

I don't like how Mauro sees calling matches as a knowledge dump first and foremost. His voice is also too stuffy. My husband can't bring himself to watch anything when Mauro is announcing because his voice is so grating.

[DGinnetty]

Gotta agree with you Loss. Mauro's voice sounds like a fake radio announcer's voice to me.

Too fake. I try to enjoy the references he thrown in regarding Pancrase, Japanese wrestlers, etc..; but

it just seems like he is trying too hard for my tastes.

 

Dan

 

P.S. I work with some wrestling fans who became aware of the public access cable show I did (and still do!).

One of them recently told me "This Mauro guy sucks! Dan, you should be doing that instead of him."

[Cap]

Man Bryan Kendrick might legit be one of the best 3-5 wrestlers right now. his performance in this tournament has been out of this world good. I wish he was at least getting into the final four. This Ibushi match is one round too early.

[Childs]

I don't know about top five in the world, but Kendrick made me care about a Tony Nese match, so that's some shit right there.

[Migs]

They've announced this week's show will be Ibushi-Kendrick and Metallik-Tozawa.

[C.S.]

Fit Finlay is not a fan of Zack Sabre Jr.

 

Fit Finlay
‏@ringfox1

I'm not a fan of sabre

 

https://twitter.com/ringfox1/status/758483783343566848

 

According to the Torch, neither is Regal.

 

http://www.pwtorch.com/site/2016/08/23/wwe-talent-recruiting-updates-cedric-alexander-signed-tommy-end-big-damo-start-dates-zack-sabre-jr-status/

 

Surprising, but I can't say I disagree. Jack Gallagher should have gotten Sabre's push.

[El Dragon]

I don't understand why that's really that surprising. Zach Sabre Jr.s style of wrestling and Regal/Finlays style of wrestling are only alike in the "They both have roots of the WoS style", but after that they go completely opposite directions. Finlay and Regal were, for the most part, "less is more, make every single thing you do look fucking painful, and make yourself look cunning without making your opponent look dumb". Sabre Jr.... no. That's not his game, generally.

 

I would think guys like Finlay and Regal would fucking love Gulak, on teh other hand.

[C.S.]

It's surprising because Fit, a WWE employee, is openly criticizing Sabre, one of the "stars" of the CWC and a potential future employee (assuming he hasn't already gotten signed). I'm not sure where Torch's info about Regal comes from though, as all they said was that Regal mostly agrees with Fit.

[Matt D]

I don't understand why that's really that surprising. Zach Sabre Jr.s style of wrestling and Regal/Finlays style of wrestling are only alike in the "They both have roots of the WoS style", but after that they go completely opposite directions. Finlay and Regal were, for the most part, "less is more, make every single thing you do look fucking painful, and make yourself look cunning without making your opponent look dumb". Sabre Jr.... no. That's not his game, generally.

 

I would think guys like Finlay and Regal would fucking love Gulak, on teh other hand.

It's like anything else. A lot of times wrestlers do things without realizing why they were done. Something as simple as a dropdown being a trip attempt gets lost over the years and the more complex the moves being done, the easier it is to lose some of the reasoning behind them, and then you lose some of the grounding. I don't think it's as much about less is more so much as they need to see that the struggle that really permeates so much of old WoS wrestling, even when things were tricked out, is there.

 

It's worth noting that there was a podcast out there a few weeks ago with a UK wrestler who indicated that Regal and Finlay felt that Sabre's wrestling was "gay" or something along those lines. This is a HUGE chain of telephone though so don't quote me on any of that.

[The Chief]

So who was in that Raw promo? I saw Gargano, Ciampa and Cedric. I'm probably forgetting someone. It's probably safe to assume these guys are signed to contracts (the ones we were unsure on not Gargano/Ciampa)?

[Russellmania]

It's surprising because Fit, a WWE employee, is openly criticizing Sabre, one of the "stars" of the CWC and a potential future employee (assuming he hasn't already gotten signed). I'm not sure where Torch's info about Regal comes from though, as all they said was that Regal mostly agrees with Fit.

uh didn't Fit Finlay leave the company years ago?

[Jmare007]

 

It's surprising because Fit, a WWE employee, is openly criticizing Sabre, one of the "stars" of the CWC and a potential future employee (assuming he hasn't already gotten signed). I'm not sure where Torch's info about Regal comes from though, as all they said was that Regal mostly agrees with Fit.

uh didn't Fit Finlay leave the company years ago?

 

 

He came back in 2012, he's even had some pull apart appearances and got speared by Reigns in one.